Hi, I’m Bill and I am 40 years old. Raised by loving and caring parents in a normal middle class suburban setting, I nevertheless completed high school feeling insecure, confused and misunderstood. I had low self esteem and felt controlled, isolated and invalid.
Love and acceptance felt very elusive and conditional. Conditional upon me “being good”, making intelligent choices and pursuing impressive achievements.
I joined a law enforcement agency thinking I wanted action and excitement, when I really wanted structure, routine and security. I craved identity and a sense of belonging. These I found. But the essence of the job was rather torturous for someone who hated confrontation for fear of not being liked!
I switched to a career in health care. Caring for others came naturally and a grateful community deeply approved.
An exhilarating and esteemed career, endless personal relationships, and a plethora of mobile phones, computers, electronic diaries and other high tech toys all failed to quell an insatiable and gaping hole deep within me. A university education, several more career changes and finally my own business still left me wanting.
At the age of 37 I joined an innovative management team and moved inter-State, to pioneer and develop a spectacular new business concept. I invested all that I had and all that I was in this auspicious project. At last financial independence, personal freedom and an early retirement was on the horizon.
Mountains of hard work over long hours paid off as the business blew out sales budgets and exceeded all expectations. I began to relax a little. Alone and secluded, I missed my family and friends back home. I was soon part of the social landscape which subtly introduced me to a spectacular new biological concept; the intravenous injection of hard drugs. And so began a passionate love affair with amphetamines. Any feelings of insecurity, inadequacy or low self esteem could be obliterated in an instant. I loved the feeling and I wanted more.
In the meantime, my shiny new business began to encounter some serious problems. Collapse was imminent. All my insecurities and anxieties came flooding back. Overwhelmed with fear and worry I used more drugs to ease the pain. The pain was intense and the drugs were never enough. My tolerance grew and so did my appetite. I lost everything. The business went under. Homeless and destitute, I slept in condemned squats and ate from soup kitchens. A complete failure and intensely ashamed, I was emaciated and emotionally bankrupt. I tried so hard to pickup the pieces but just couldn’t get well. A trail of Detox Centres and Rehabs eventually led me to the program I needed. There I encountered a rehabilitation program like no other. The staff were thoroughly competent, incredibly patient and deeply compassionate. They delivered a program that is rich, comprehensive and immensely practical. Skilled and talented professionals, the team gave me back my dignity and taught me how to re-assume proper responsibility for my life. They gave me the tools and life skills I need to rebuild my life on a solid foundation, from the inside out.
Thankyou so much for supporting this program. And to all the staff, you beautiful people, with abundant love I salute you.