I grew up in an average family, with my dad, my mum and a younger brother. My dad was an alcoholic so my life wasn't always that stable. My parents separated a lot but always got back together which was really confusing for me as I never knew what was going to happen next.
When I was about 13 we moved towns for dad's work and I found myself in a new town with new people. Once I started high school I found myself hanging around the people that smoked cigarettes, pot and were drinking, so to fit in I started smoking and drinking every now and then. In about year 10 I found myself smoking pot every day of the week and drinking on weekends and I think that is when my addiction kicked off.
I fell pregnant when I was 16 and went straight into denial as I thought this can't be happening to me, and the dad had left as soon as he found out that I was pregnant. My first thought was if he is going to leave me, my parents are bound to hit the roof. I was 6 months pregnant when I finally plucked up the courage to tell mum and dad that I was pregnant, and as I expected they hit the roof, but settled down a few weeks later.
A couple of months after my daughter was born my parents finally separated for the last time. This left me feeling alone, scared, frightened and less confident in my abilities to be a mother. So when I turned 18 I took to going nightclubbing every Friday night to escape the pressure of being a single parent.
After a couple of months I got bored with drinking and smoking pot so I decided to take the next step and I experimented with ecstasy and what do you know, I loved it. So I decided to try something else and started using speed and that was when my addiction really kicked off. I found myself using at every spare moment I could so that I could escape from my feelings and from reality and to live in a totally different world to the one I was really in. I was really confused and lost a lot of friendships and relationships. My family didn't trust me and I felt like I was all alone, so I turned harder into the drug scene and that was when I discovered Ice. I thought I had found heaven. It just seemed to go from one extreme to the next. My dad kept telling me that I had a problem, but I just thought that he had a problem with me taking drugs and drinking. In the end he gave me an ultimatum either get clean for yourself and daughter or I will disown you. I finally realised it was crunch time, I had to do something.
I made a phone call to a rehabilitation centre and they told me to come for an assessment, so I did. A few days later I found out that I was going to be admitted. I was really scared about coming to the centre as I had no idea what to expect as it was my first time in rehab. Since being in rehab, I have learnt respect for myself and for others. I now have a really good relationship with my mum and dad. I am now trusted and respected by them. I have made really good friendships with people that understand what it is like to be an addict. I now have confidence in myself and don't have to use drugs to have that sense of confidence. I have learnt about my boundaries and other people's boundaries. But most of all I am grateful for the rehab centre because it has given me back my life.