Smoked pot on various occasions from age 14, but at approx. age 18 a friend suggested I try a ‘cough medicine’….as it got you off! I did, threw up but liked it and so began a 15 year addiction with codeine. At the time I started I was
with the man I married at age 28 (& we are still together) & he & I would go to the drive-in (showing my age), drink a bottle between us & have a good night? He was able to do it only on special occasions but I needed it every day. I hid it as best I could and got away with it for the most part (I think?). Unfortunately for me there was a local chemist who sold it with no questions asked (a few dirty looks) & in fact on our honeymoon to an overseas destination he packaged 8 bottles for me to take!
We moved to another state not long after our marriage and although I had been dabbling in tranquilizers, they soon became my drug of choice. Doctor to Doctor I’d get scripts & waste myself. To me I seemed fine, but after hearing & seeing conversations/video of myself, I am amazed more people (family) didn’t pull me up earlier. We got pregnant & had a child (I told oby/gny of my “sometime problem” and he prescribed more sedatives.)
Note: At age 27 I began to suffer grand mal seizures and was medicated with diazepam (& other anti-convalescents) and still on the sedatives…in a big way…50 a day at times!
Our child was born healthy but I nearly died in childbirth & eventually my husband said, “get it together or we are gone”. That was my wake-up, I knew he meant it. (I had tried once before the birth of our child to do something & went to a rehab facility in a public hospital, but left after 3 days as patients were walking to the chemist across the road, getting their drugs, coming back & sharing).
I had heard of a GP near me who wouldn’t judge me……………..AND THAT WAS A BIG THING….as I judged myself as scum, but if another was to put me down I couldn’t have gone through with it….but he was a great man & alleviated all my fears of withdrawal etc (I’d heard that taking that many sedatives for 3–4 yrs was worse than heroin & alcohol) & put me into hospital for 7 days (as a private patient in a private room in a private hospital) and it wasn’t as bad as I had imagined. Sure, on about day 4 I was unable to sleep & was irritable with staff for 48 hrs but I walked out clean.
No, I did take it again for about 2 months but only spasmodically, as I knew I could stop without the fear I had had re: withdrawal.
I suppose the reason I’m writing this is to let people who may be feeling scared, as I did regarding over the counter &/or script addictions, to not be ashamed & frightened, that they can detoxify if they really want to and it probably won’t be as bad/hard as they’d convinced themselves it would be.