Eva’s childhood was dominated by the behaviours of an alcoholic father.
There was so much associated trauma that Eva grew up with little self-esteem. She felt like a failure, no matter what she did, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t fix it and she felt hopeless.
As an adult Eva chose to love and marry another alcoholic, saying “you marry what you know.” With alcohol abuse being the foundation on which her life was built, Eva fought to try to change the environment when she had children. She wanted better for her children but wasn’t sure how to stop history repeating itself.
Eva became a single mother of two children, working full-time, on-call, and also on weekends just to pay the bills. It was a hard and exhausting time for her and Eva felt her parenting skills weren’t great because she was terrified of conflict.
When Evan’s daughter turned 14 Eva’s world turned upside down. It was marijuana and it was like her lovely little girl left and another person came to live in her home, with devastating impact.
Her daughter was using all the time and precious money was going missing, but her daughter would deny taking it. Eva didn’t manage and as her daughter started her own family she continued to use.
In the midst of all the chaos Eva discovered Stepping Stone. She wanted a different relationship with her daughter and the course helped her to see what she was doing right, but also what she was doing wrong. She learned to put up boundaries, to stop taking over and trying to fix everything, to stop lending money when she didn’t even have the money for herself. Importantly, the course enabled Eva to feel the grief that comes with living and loving someone who abuses drugs and to know that it’s okay to feel anger and resentment at the turmoil and loss that comes with all of the experiences.
Eva’s decision to do the course was life-changing and she hopes that her story may help another person find the courage to learn a new way to relate to and support a family member with a drug or alcohol problem.